By Alex Sangha
I’m Alex Sangha, a gay South Asian man living with a mental illness, and these intersections of identity have shaped my journey. Growing up in a culture where mental illness is often misunderstood and homosexuality is widely unaccepted presented significant challenges. Still, I found a path forward by embracing my unique experiences and focusing on my strengths. I now stand as a social worker, filmmaker, founder of Sher Vancouver, and co-founder of the Sundar Prize Film Festival, all while managing mental health conditions. This is my story of resilience and transformation, shared in honor of Mental Health Awareness Week in Canada, celebrated from October 6 to 12, 2024.
Leaving Home; Encountering the “Light”
As a closeted young man, I struggled deeply with my sexuality. The immense pressure within the South Asian community to marry and have children weighed heavily on me, and for much of my adolescence, I felt lost and despondent. Suicidal thoughts plagued my teens as I grappled with the idea of being different. At 13, I secretly sought the help of a psychiatrist, hoping that professional intervention could change my sexuality. Instead of trying to “cure” me, my psychiatrist provided support in navigating my emotions and coming out, ultimately helping me accept my identity as a gay man.
At 19, I left Canada for England, hoping to escape the weight of cultural expectations and embrace my identity. While living with my grandfather in Kent, I enrolled in college but soon found myself overwhelmed by loneliness and emotional instability. My thoughts spiraled, and I began to experience racing ideas, sleeplessness, and physical changes. Within weeks, I hardly recognized myself.
During a particularly intense period, I had an epiphany, a type of spiritual experience—a moment of seeing a remarkable divine light that profoundly impacted me. I was unsure what to make of it, but I felt it had significant meaning. Despite receiving treatment for my physical health, my mental state continued to fluctuate. This was the first break of mania I experienced, although I didn’t recognize it as such at the time.
Coming Home: Struggling Through My 20s
Returning to Canada was difficult. Though I had a renewed sense of purpose, driven by the desire to help others, I was still struggling with my mental health. I pursued a career in social work, feeling that my spiritual experience in England had directed me toward this path. However, my journey was far from linear. I lost my first year at the UBC School of Social Work as I went in and out of treatment, dealing with periods of mania and depression. It was during this time that I fully realized I had a mental illness, and accepting that I had a lifelong condition was a challenging but crucial step.
In my early 20s, I was still concealing my sexuality from my family. When my mother asked me if I was gay, I lied, telling her I was bisexual. The weight of keeping this secret was immense, but I found solace in volunteering with a gay and lesbian student group at UBC. Through this group, I was able to make friends and help educate others on homophobia and discrimination. It was empowering to create a space for others to feel safe in coming out, even when I was not entirely out myself.
Finding Peace and Purpose
My 30s brought a greater understanding of my mental illness and the need for long-term management. Over the years, I have been diagnosed with schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder, and, currently, bipolar disorder, which I believe is my superpower because it makes me a creative visionary. Navigating these conditions has been a balancing act of finding the proper medications and coping strategies. Today, I work closely with my doctors to ensure I take the lowest effective dose of medication to manage my symptoms while minimizing side effects.
I have embraced a holistic approach to my mental health. Along with medication, I incorporate counseling, a nutritious diet, regular exercise, socializing, and participation in support groups into my routine. Swimming, in particular, has become a therapeutic practice for me, benefiting my body and mind.
As I built this support structure around me, I developed organizations to support others. In 2008, I founded Sher Vancouver, a non-profit supporting LGBTQ+ South Asians and their allies. We offer peer support, counseling, social activities, and advocacy, helping others who may feel isolated or misunderstood due to their sexual or gender identities. Sher Vancouver has become a lifeline for many, reducing the alienation and depression often associated with the coming out process.
In 2021, I co-founded the Sundar Prize Film Festival, a platform that celebrates impactful storytelling focused on social issues. It’s a space where filmmakers from underrepresented communities, including those grappling with mental illness and LGBTQ+ identities, can share their stories with the world. Through this work, I aim to foster empathy and understanding for myself and others.
Embracing My Light
Looking back, I now understand the divine light I saw during that difficult period in England as a spiritual experience. For a long time, I questioned whether it was a hallucination or a product of my mental illness. But I’ve come to believe it was something more—a sign that it’s okay to be who I am. That light continues to guide me, bringing peace and reminding me that my journey has a deeper purpose.
Though the stigma surrounding mental illness and homosexuality persists, I have found ways to rise above it, using my challenges as stepping stones toward a meaningful life. I hope my story inspires others during this Mental Health Awareness Week, reminding them that there is always light ahead even in the darkest moments.
Alex Sangha is a Registered Clinical Social Worker and Registered Clinical Counsellor with a private counselling practice in North Delta. He is the recipient of the Meritorious Service Medal from the Governor General of Canada.
